Happy Friday afternoon! You’re just hours away from the weekend, and what better way to distract yourself at work while inching toward the finish line than reading an email full of useless information?! We will release a new podcast this evening, so keep your eyes open for it on our website and iTunes! Also, one final plea to review the podcast on iTunes. So far, only Al’s mom has done so and we need more! We really appreciate all the texts and emails reviewing the show, but would love for you to do it on iTunes this week instead.
“Same Drugs” by Chance The Rapper (Unless you’re living under a rock, you heard buzz about Chance’s latest mixtape Coloring Book. Like all good things this year, it was released exclusively so if you don’t have Apple Music you’ll just have to wait for its inevitable migration over to Spotify.)
“Look Alive” by Rae Sremmurd (We are just total suckers for anything these two do. This song makes us feel like we are in a weird trance and weirdly the opposite of looking alive, but still totally into it)
“Broccoli” by D.R.A.M. ft Lil Yacty (As you all know, Al eats like a morbidly obese 12 year-old. If it doesn’t have fake cheese on it, she’s not eating it. That said, this song is one vegetable she can get behind. Though, since when did broccoli become a euphemism for drugs? We don’t endorse the drugs part).
Tweet (announcement) of the week: BIG NEWS FOLKS, Twitter is no longer counting photos and links toward the 140 character limit! I’m sure all 10 of our Twitter followers will be happy to get a few more characters worth of our thoughts.
Video of the week: We were right, and America has chosen “CAN’T STOP THE FEELING!” as its song of the summer. It is the #1 single in the country and JT just released the official music video. It might be the most joyful video we have ever seen.
Instagram of the week: Kim Kardashian went to Disneyland and deep-throated a churro. Yes, you read that sentence correctly.
Kanye West was on Ellen. He gave an eight minute speech about he can change the future. It’s actually a really inspiring speech, but the beginning is perfectly Kanye. “Start with the truth… and then put some dope shit with it.”
This dude loving himself at a Rihanna concert is everything that is right in 2016. Seriously, watch this. It will inspire you for the weekend.
Cannes was this week. Kendall Jenner crushed every red carpet, as did Blake Lively. It is only clear to us why one of those two women was at Cannes. Check out all the hottest looks here.
McSweeney’s is always the best place to go when you need some solid satire. No exception here with their notes from TV execs on shows that skewed “too male.” The notes on Mad Men are our personal faves.
On Monday, police in the Chicago area announced they were looking into the “well-being” of Irish singer Sinead O’Connor. She was later found, posted on FB, and then got off FB.
IF YOU ONLY CLICK ONE THING THIS WEEK LET IT BE THIS: Every year, the networks have “upfronts” where they try and sell their slate of shows to advertisers. It seemed that every network had the same idea– “take advantage of the Hamilton buzz to try and hide the fact our fall lineup sucks.” ESPN definitely took the cake, with Daveed Diggs (Jefferson/Lafayette) and Leslie Odom Jr. (Aaron Burr) performing an original song about the drama of sports. The song is fire.
GQ ran a profile on “the man behind Lebron,” his high school teammate, Mav Carter. Mav is quite sexy and also a bit of an asshole. If you don’t believe us, this is what he said when asked whether or not he was an asshole. “ Ultimately, what is an asshole? It’s a person who has supreme confidence and believes in what he’s doing. It’s hard to get anything done without being an asshole.”
The Warriors/Thunder are tied at 1-1, but if you ask us Russell Westbrook is pretty much dominating the style game. No surprises here, but Russ definitely upstaged everyone else off the court in this completely ripped t-shirt. Do you, boo boo.
This week, Cavs’ coach Tyronn Lue became the first rookie coach to win 10 straight playoff games. It also came out that he turned the Cavs around by telling Lebron James to “shut the f*$k up” in a huddle. What a week, Tyronn!
Jason Day won the Players Championship last week and showed off his adorable family, including his wife Ell(i)e. Please note his extremely chunky baby. CUTIE!
We have nothing to say about politics this week because Americans prefer head lice to Donald Trump. And a woman’s recent obituary read, ““Faced with the prospect of voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, Mary Anne Noland of Richmond chose, instead, to pass into the eternal love of God.” This really seems like all you need to know. If you’re looking for a bit more substance, you can watch Ivanka’s in-depth interview about her dad on CBS This Morning.
A man in Washington’s life was saved by Domino’s workers who noticed he hadn’t placed his regular order in a few days. PLEASE VOTE FOR THIS MAN FOR PRESIDENT. HE IS A TRUE AMERICAN HERO!
Doctors completed the first penis transplant in America and everyone is going nuts. Decide for yourself whether the pun was intended there.
This 1996 interview with Barack and Michelle Obama makes me believe in true love. If it doesn’t make you believe in true love, you’re heartless.
A woman in Maine was getting arrested and told the cops she needed to put a bra on before going to jail. She then proceeded to escape out her bedroom window and avoid arrest. I wonder if she is single because she seems like an excellent mate for the Domino’s dude.